Tag Archives: feelings

lines written on the return trip from SFMOMA

pull out the sketch pad
and stare at it blankly as
teenage skateboarders race by.
the Fillmore beeps and bops,
cowbells clang, speaking curses,
questions to your ear, bedazzled and browned
by the sun. too many coats for this warm weather,
you think,
wondering where the incessant rain storms
ran to next. the city divides itself in two,
hoarding fine art and filth on one side, while
heating the hearth with wood chips in the other.
seasoning springs upon you often
on this bumpy ride. Continue reading

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selections from Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

“She’ll come back and be a serious Americanah like Bisi,” Ranyinudo said.

They roared with laughter, at that word “Americanah,” wreathed in glee, the fourth syllable extended, and at the thought of Bisi, a girl in the form below them, who had come back from a short trip to America with odd affectations, pretending she no longer understood Yoruba, adding a slurred r to every English word she spoke. (78) Continue reading

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notes from my phone

how do I create
how does one scrawl the thoughts incessantly knocking on the othe side of the glass
pika Continue reading

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selections from George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion (1912)

LIZA. Every girl has a right to be loved. (102) Continue reading

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Metro Area

i love when the time is 01:23. i love dancing to “Dancing Queen.” i love when people don’t steal your shit. i love how a couple robots could tell a band of perfect professionals to just keep walking along the … Continue reading

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Burning Man

in which the )'( burns. Continue reading

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Natalie Supervolcano

steaming vibrant as the Grand Prismatic Spring,
the lucky linens ’round my woman’s skinny waist.
unseen as a grizzly in the darkness grazes,
my coffee goddess struts in twilight blinking,
brown and brown her skin’s sweet hue
as blue the sky for miles and miles…
and when she widens bright her piercing eyes,
beauty beyond beauty, i’m left unthinking.

like gas and fire polka dot dancing in the night,
the crescent light gleaming from her certain smile.
like sleepless geysers roaring under the earth,
my sun-encircled angel lies dreamless winking,
boyish saliva exalting her temples to her toes
like rivers white and regal carving canyons deep…
but when she hyperventilates her tears,
beauty beyond beauty, i’m left unthinking.

blurring the lines between my sanity and my
love,

the thick fruit
my woman bears. Continue reading

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twelve-bar blues

i’m in a really good mood right now, and it feels like a comet. that is, this ain’t no flash in the pan but rather something with a tail extending many, many days into the past. here are reasons why:

— i am.
— i am currently listening to the nearly 30 minute version of “Dazed and Confused” found on Led Zeppelin’s The Song Remains the Same.
— i’ve been playing music regularly, be it drum, bass, or vinyl.
— Chris and i can cook a damn good breakfast.
— i’ve been reading a little bit, splitting my time between Joseph Conrad’s Lord Jim and the Qur’an.
— i experienced Thee Oh Sees live twice this weekend.
— girls seem to like me.
— i love Tina.
— work isn’t getting me down.
— American rye whiskey and bourbon.
— Big Sur, specifically Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park and the Pacific Ocean it kisses.
— 100 MPH on the PCH. Continue reading

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Journey

there is zero correlation between how clean you keep your room and how much you like to party.

i wrote something about Egypt this week. it started out all newsy as a discussed protests in Midan Tahrir like a perfect CNN correspondent, but it quickly devolved into a messy orgy proclaiming the greatness of People and the Internet and the buzz word that binds them, social media.

oh well.

i wish i could (i can’t think of the word i can’t think of the word i can’t think of the word i can’t think of the word i can’t think of the word VERBALIZE) verbalize my newfound feelings and thoughts toward Music and Life. maybe “newfound” isn’t the right word, since those thoughts and feelings have been transforming subtly for years. but lately they seem emboldened and fear not the consequences of controlling my entire consciousness, directing my entire existence. if you asked me the meaning of life, i would probably answer “sex,” but that doesn’t really get to the heart of it.

i think it’s Rhythm. i live for Rhythm. Rhythm, from Greek ῥυθμός [rhythmos], “any regular recurring motion, symmetry.” Sex is the Rhythm of bodies in search of wicked epidermal pleasure (and other joys, far deeper than the skin). eating, sleeping, drinking, breathing are various activities we must continue–Rhythmically–to sustain our beings.

and Music? Music is the Rhythm of Everything.

that’s not hyperbole. when we think of Music, like this Ziggy Stardust i’m treating my ears to right now, we’re thinking of multiple Rhythms. most significantly, there’s the Rhythm inside my ear, the Rhythm of my cochlear fluid, in turn vibrating little hairs which translate that Rhythm into electricity; everyone’s brains loves a little electricity. before reaching my ear, Rhythm disturbed the air–mostly nitrogen, oxygen, and argon–all around me. just imagine, millions of little molecules dancing to “he’d like to come and meet us but he thinks he’d blow our minds”. and everyone knows the end (beginning?) of the story: little (humongous?) cones move back and forth, saying dance nitrogen! dance oxygen! dance argon!

but Music extends beyond the vibrations of loudspeakers, air molecules, and weird human anatomical mechanisms:

cars zooming across the United States… fog rolling over the hills of Daly City… high-heeled girls walking through sunlit Tokyo streets… a monkey in Nicaragua eating by himself at the top of a tree… rocks secretly tumbling down submerged cliffs in the Mediterranean sea… a superstorm cooling on the face of Jupiter… ions quibbling in the heart of the Sun… suburban band members arguing over their name… an English son of a bitch setting his piano on fire… in Indonesia, a clerk counts his money for the day… in Egypt, a snake chooses to slither left around the rock not right… in South Africa, a book of world records falls off the shelf… a video chat between two lost lovers so garbly it requires a new word to describe the amount of pixely garbage.

that’s the Music, the Rhythm i’m talking about. the same way that there’s a pattern in here:

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Rhythm is a function of the dimension called Time.

i don’t know what i’m talking about.

Continue reading

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LP4 on ATH-M50

it’s like that feeling you get in your heart when you realize that one of the most well-known institutional investors in Twitter shares your taste in music. (“Music you have in common includes Kanye West, LCD Soundsystem, Beach House, Billy Bragg & Wilco and Belle and Sebastian.”

it’s like that awkwardness you feel like a cloud in the milked-down coffee of your brain when you realize that you’ve spent the last 24 hours telling the girl you love all about another girl’s bra size.

it’s like that spiritual transcendence generally associated with the end of a workday, it seeps into your ears and, in order to not let it escape, you snap on $100+ headphones and hope for the best, while an instrumental electronic rock duo takes care of the rest.

it’s like a vacuum that doesn’t work, so you tell your weird weekend mom you’ll help by, only after showering, going to the grocery store and picking up $150 worth of things–but only things that can be eaten–with her money.

it’s like when you have a whole month to fester in expectation of V-shaped ecstasy, so you look around and say, fuck, maybe i should have resolved to make this a new year too, just to kill time, but it’s too late for that, february’s almost here.

it’s like when birds migrate southwest for a change of pace and to prove that they can still fly, but the whole time they can’t forget that they’re entirely dependent on the leader of the formation, on their nest, on the telephone wires when they arrive at their destination.

it’s like when you’re so happy and content that you say to yourself, what if i suddenly get really paranoid? and you suddenly get really paranoid, of course, because that’s how the mind works, and you’re so terrified of turning around but when you do nothing’s there. back to square one.

it’s like when you say to no one but yourself, i’m going to stop drinking alcohol and i’m going to stop drinking tea, and you drink a little bit less alcohol and drink a lot more tea.

it’s like thinking that you’re going to take a nap, mostly because that’s what you normally do at this hour, but instead you sit up in bed and think that you’re going to write a blog post, and you do. Continue reading

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