Tag Archives: capitalism

selections from The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels

WORKINGMEN OF ALL COUNTRIES, UNITE! Continue reading

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selections from Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America by Barbara Ehrenreich

No one ever said that you could work hard—harder even than you ever thought possible—and still find yourself sinking ever deeper into poverty and debt. Continue reading

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selections from This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs the Climate by Naomi Klein

4254681996_27b1ed7ff0 Continue reading

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selections from Sadhana: The Classic of Indian Spirituality by Rabindranath Tagore

Mind can never know Brahma, words can never describe him; he can only be known by our soul, by her joy in him, by her love. Continue reading

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selections from The San Francisco Poets by David Meltzer

The DNA molecule is the memory. It is the memory of the meat. Four billion years of memory telling you to be a mammal. (274) Continue reading

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love to love the stark reality of you, baby

the canvas is revealed, and instantly my own words come to haunt me:

i think writers love writing way too much sometimes.

do i stand by it? Booker’s bourbon deep within me or not, i do.

pasta sauce is on the stove, Tina’s yowling for dinner eleven whole minutes early, and here i sit, listening to strange jazz funk for those who were children in 1970. perhaps i was a child in 1970. perhaps i am a child in 2013.

immediately, my mind races to Natalie. lover, mother, sister, daughter. lover, liver, other, udder. lover, liver, killer, wanted. dead or alive, the love of my life.

i spent the past weekend not just with her but with my whole family. wedding #3. the best wedding, i would argue, but i’m biased because i love beaches. there we sat, taking up five of the nearly 40 chairs, on the beach in Avila, watching the two lovers dedicate the rest of their lives to each other. meanwhile, girls in bikinis, young girls, young boys, older boys, men, women, couples, swimmers, bros, volleyball voyeurs, everyone… looked on. it was us and it was them, and i certainly felt like them.

Screen Shot 2013-10-21 at 7.52.52 PM

the night before, Natalie and i had stared at our beautiful naked bodies in a giant mirror that took up the entire wall. while doing so, it dawned on me that narcissism was not reserved merely for individuals.

consider: a boy staring at his beautiful body in the reflected pool is narcissism. granted. likewise, a girl staring at her beautiful body in the reflected pool is narcissism. granted. however, the boy looks up and sees the girl across the pond, and he dies. struck with such immense beauty, an infinity times greater than his own, he stares and stares and stares and, at just the right moment when she felt his gaze, he looks away, only to look back and see her locking eyes with him. lust, granted. they edge the pond to share a conversation. the conversation leads to love leads to a later meeting leads to love leads to more meetings leads to love leads to… their becoming something of a unity. with or without marriage, granted, they become something of a one. this one finds themselves lying naked staring at themselves in a giant mirror… is narcissism. granted?

alas, as with the crashing waves parallel to my pupils, the tides do turn.

in the wake of the rainbow sand ceremony we had just witnessed, full of love and hope and happiness, i found myself plunged into the darkness of a quarrel with my love, who had found fault with some stupid words i spoke in the morning. i had apologized then, legitimately, but through my own prodding about some other subject after the wedding, had dug a hole that opened up the very same cavern of despair that i thought had been buried earlier.

but did this cavern really need to be so big? need the flames lick so high? need the darkness pitch so deep? i didn’t think so, but she did. but this writer had had enough of words. hopeless, stupid, careless, useless words. meaningless, pointless, hopeless. impossible.

so i stared at the ocean.

i stared.

and i stared.

and i gazed.

and i loved.

and i breathed.

and the mind wandered as it does but without words.

just breathing.

and loving.

gazing.

staring.

the waves crashed as they have for all time and as they will for all time. beautiful Avila Beach waves. beautiful.

stunning. impossibly perfect, gorgeous, crashing, perfect waves.

starry. star-struck, i was.

in love, i was.

i was.

i was, when my lover–now relegated to my periphery–caressed my face.

and at that very moment, i walked into my living room and threw Donna Summer’s “Love to Love You Baby” on the turntable. if you turn it up real loud, i realized then, you hear breathe in deeply before she starts sexily singing, “ohhh… love to love you baby.” Continue reading

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Jane’s Manifesto

LOL Continue reading

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