Monthly Archives: July 2014

my favorite things about the 2014 World Cup

first, a disclaimer: i’m a sports novice. i only started giving a shit about the World Cup four years ago, and even then i only woke up early to watch USA games. this time around, i watched as many games as possible. (admittedly, that was partly because most of the games happened during the workday and my office somehow managed to make it okay to just watch games all day. fuck yeah.)

but really, i love football. it’s a beautiful fucking sport. giant fucking field, two giant fucking nets to shoot at, one little ball. no commercials. no endless timeouts and clock stops. 90 minutes, go. it’s beautiful.

so here are my–humbly, uneducated–favorite moments from the 2014 World Cup:




i noticed it for the first time when an Italian player helped up a fallen English player, but it was everywhere across every game. kinda cheesy, and maybe it’d be nice if we just expected humans to act well toward one another, but i don’t care: i still enjoyed seeing it.


though they all got their asses kicked by European giants eventually, it was nice seeing three of the Cup’s biggest underdogs–Algeria, Costa Rica, and USA–fight so passionately. it must be something of a truism for fans of the underdog that at least you get to appreciate the sheer art of their defenses because, you know, they’re always on the defense.


’nuff said. Continue reading

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late Ramadan

i just scarfed down a whole cookie sheet of green chile cheese nachos. that is to say, a can of green chile, a large chunk of mild cheddar cheese, and half a bag of tortilla chips was my dinner. am i vegetarian yet?

i’ve been back home for nearly two weeks and it would already feel like i’d never been gone, except for the fact that my return from Europe marks a turning point in lifestyle. whether temporary or permanent, only Allah/Yahweh knows.

for one, as i’ve been hinting, i’m not eating meat. to be specific, i’m trying to avoid meat as best i can. that means i skipped the free meat tacos at lunch today… but i ate somebody’s leftover corn dog last night. it means the pastas i make are meatless… but i ate somebody’s salad full of bacon bits. it means i ordered a green pizza (asparagus, artichokes, etc.) at 21st Amendment the other night… but i ate a steak for dinner at my parent’s house two days later.

basically, there are two key circumstances in which i will eat meat. first, if somebody is throwing away perfectly good food, i will eat it no matter what. if there’s anything i despise more than climate change, tortured animals, and extreme wealth, it’s wasted food. besides, the animal has died; let it not be in vain. secondly, if somebody has gone through trouble to gift me a meal (as my mother did the other night), i will not spurn the gift. i will rejoice in it! and may i always. that said, maybe i should start advertising more that i’m not eating meat so as to limit the chances that people make it for me. (already, my beautiful girlfriend chef lover friend has put together an excellent eggplant sandwich and a roasted vegetable pasta. she’s an expert.)

so i’m not buying it. i’m not cooking it. and i’m not ordering it. that’s a start, right?

besides the meat thing, i’m also trying to not drink alcohol. i last tried to do this a year ago and ended up averaging out to about a drink per day for an entire month. this time around, i’m doing about the same. last night, celebrating Lexi and laughter, i drank a total of one margarita, one shot of Jameson, and one tall PBR over the course of over six hours. not bad, i’d say!

besides the meat and alcohol things… well, there’s one other thing. but it’s quite private. Continue reading

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introducing ronny the bad vegetarian

i ate a hot dog today.

yesterday i ate a cup of noodles with three or four teeny tiny shrimp in it.

bloody thursday i ate a slice of bacon and some quail.

wednesday evening i ate a couple slices of prosciutto and a 1.5 pound Lassen trout.

tuesday evening i ate a handful of mini hot dogs.

in the past week, at least 10 animals had to die to keep me alive.

isn’t that funny?

that’s funny.

death is funny.

death is funny when it’s not happening to you. Continue reading

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