Monthly Archives: November 2008

mantis, you [archive]

mantis, you
exited your exoskeleton to
crawl back into
mine. crooked legged mind of
mine cupped your bird’s nest
hair like a treasure. Continue reading

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the dark heart [archive]

mysteries incomprehensible detestable fascination fascination abomination imagine longing powerless disgust surrender hate mind enigma monotonous grimness edge colossal jungle nobody farce sinister idleness isolation uniform sombreness truth delusion momentary reality empty immensity incomprehensible nothing nothing insanity merry dance death devils men insidious hole clinging earth nothing earthly now nothing black shadows disease starvation idea connected stared nothing intolerable appalling phantom eternity Mr. Kurtz solitude nobody silence profound horrors smile smile unconscious smile uneasiness uneasiness nothing suspicion entrails nowhere civil uncivil quiet grave grave aimlessly jove unreal silent wilderness great invincible evil truth hole wilderness heavens blindfolded lighted torch sombre black sinister arrested prodigy devil singleness beyond spectrally lamentable silence heart mystery greatness amazing reality concealed life disposition nothing primeval jove primeval immensity hate detest appals death mortality hate detest world miserable sick rotten dream dream dream commingling absurdity surprise bewilderment tremor struggling revolt captured incredible essence dreams silent impossible impossible life existence truth meaning subtle penetrating essence impossible live dream alone reflecting pitch dark voice universal genius god devil man love reality lunatics vanished motionless existence deadened meditation Kurtz voices influence frightful Kurtz glimpse depths wilderness empty desolate man strange anything anything danger lurking death hidden evil profound darkness heart world earth kings empty silence impenetrable forest everything somewhere existence stillness implacable inscrutable reality reality fades truth hidden mysterious stillness civil unpardonable sin heart dream cannibals clinging unknown hollow ponderous millions massive immense high little small lost crawled Kurtz penetrated deeper deeper heart darkness quiet war peace prayer chill stillness wanderers prehistoric earth earth unknown planet edge black incomprehensible frenzy comprehension phantoms appalled sane madhouse far night gone no earth unearthly conquered monster monstrous free unearthly men inhuman inhuman horrid thrilled humanity remote wild passionate uproar ugly ugly terrible frankness noise dim remote night comprehend mind man anything everything all past future joy fear truth truth time fool truth true truth thoughts unexpected inquiry singleness something unmistakably real world human futility suspicious ripples sleep unnatural trance faintest deaf blind blinding night solid infinite desolation screamed intolerably excessive shrieking appalling excessive silence dissolving around all rest world nowhere nowhere gone disappeared shadow countless precarious existence something restraining everlastingly primitive fear hunger disgust exist starvation exasperating torment black thoughts sombre brooding ferocity ripple unfathomable enigma mystery greater enchanted fabulous great human passion loose vague forms distinct incomplete evanescent something altogether substance voice expression bewildering illuminating exalted contemptible pulsating stream light deceitful flow heart impenetrable darkness vanished vanished profound stillness absurd absurd absurd exploded absurd Kurtz voice voice him it voice voices sense voice voices beautiful world everything wilderness prodigious laughter stars everything trifle powers darkness reflection creepy impossible imagine literally understand holy terror utter solitude utter silence nowhere all Kurtz ominous savages nature supernatural beings might deity unbounded power eloquence words burning noble words forgotten common restraint Kurtz swayed harlequin moment experience ideas enlarge mind existence improbable inexplicable altogether bewildering insoluble problem inconceivable existed instantly disappear thoughtlessly alive exist absolutely pure uncalculating unpractical spirit adventure consumed all thought self completely everything everything everything love things things hopeless dark impenetrable human thought Kurtz wandered alone depths nothing earth killing jolly pleased disappear forget forget mad mad silent quiet silent quiet ruined desolate exclamations completed shrugs interrupted phrases hints ending deep sighs unmoved life black dried sunken closed smiling smiling endless dream eternal slumber terrible vengeance fantastic invasion conception solitude irresistibly fascinating echoed hollow core lightless subtle horrors pure uncomplicated savagery exist obviously Kurtz Kurtz disciple simple man great thoughts understand voice lost living soul enchantment pensive attentive immobility atrocious phantom true everything life death animated image death swallow all air all earth all men shadow satiated calm voice voice grave profound vibrating whisper desire precarious unsound unsound Mr. Kurtz remarkable unsound nightmares wilderness Mr. Kurtz buried buried vast grave unspeakable secrets intolerable weight oppressing damp earth unseen presence victorious corruption darkness impenetrable night encounter wilderness enlarged mind possible phenomenon sheer blank fright pure abstract terror unconnected monstrous intolerable thought odious soul deadly danger massacre peculiar blackness experience crawling imbecile thoughts black still cocksure everything shadow wandering tormented thing lost utterly lost inspiration irretrievably lost moment foundations intimacy end beyond mute spell wilderness nothing loose earth earth alone words dreams phrases nightmares soul soul mad heavens mad eloquence mankind burst sincerity struggled inconceivable mystery soul restraint faith fear struggling blindly itself smile indefinable meaning heart darkness Kurtz life ebbing ebbing heart sea inexorable time voice voice magnificent folds eloquence barren darkness heart struggled struggled elevated shade original Kurtz hollow fate buried mould primeval earth diabolic love unearthly hate mysteries penetrated fought possession soul satiated primitive emotions power contemptibly childish silence heart invisible wilderness impenetrable darkness bottom never dark death sombre ruthless power craven terror intense hopeless despair life desire temptation surrender supreme moment complete knowledge image vision breath horror horror candle Mistah Kurtz dead there then dream nightmare end Kurtz destiny destiny life mysterious arrangement merciless logic futile purpose unextinguishable regrets wrestled death unexciting imagine impalpable greyness nothing nothing around spectators clamour glory desire victory great fear defeat sickly atmosphere tepid skepticism adversary ultimate wisdom life greater riddle Kurtz remarkable something edge understand meaning stare flame candle wide embrace whole universe piercing penetrate hearts darkness horror remarkable strange commingling desire hate vision greyness threshold invisible innumerable defeats abominable terrors abominable satisfactions victory shuddering wonder inconceivable world hope desire sepulchral resenting laughing faces stupid importance universal genius thought memory memories dead life vague impress brain shadows final heart conquering darkness stare wide immense stare embracing condemning loathing all universe horror horror all black pale head sad light cloudy time died jove impression powerful died instant time death sorrow sorrow moment death understand together together intimacy remarkable earth darkness great swayed murmurs faint incomprehensible words afar threshold eternal darkness illusion light glimmer memory died lived end infinite horror horror inconceivable triumph unspeakable pain heavens trifle heart immense darkness Continue reading

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I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You [archive]

I am an infant.

I am an infant, for I have just realized that chaos, disorder is interminably linked with structure, order. In Aretha Franklin’s “I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You,” Franklin shuns chaos. However, the no-good unknown inevitably and curiously penetrates us. The disgusting impossible becomes reality. Never becomes now.

The “way” Franklin refers to, suggests path. It suggests journey.

Who will go on this journey? Continue reading

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ten skeptical answers to make your heart heal [archive]

I don’t know if it would be ok to painlessly kill Bill if his organs would save five people, one of whom needs a heart, another a kidney, and so on.

I don’t know if you should kill one to save five.

I don’t know.

I don’t know what makes the me eight years ago me.

I don’t know if I’m really an entire human being.

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

I don’t know where I would be.

I don’t know what reason I have to believe that there’s a computer screen in front of me.

I don’t know. Continue reading

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Set the Controls for the Murmurs of Earth [archive]


Continue reading

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the Victorian era [archive]

MARY: Do either of you ladies ever stop to think how the world will have changed by the 21st century?
IDA: Well aren’t you quite the dreamer, Mary?
LISA: Come now, Ida, wouldn’t you agree that society will have become quite amoral?
DANIEL: Why! with the dawn of technologies just flowering now, however, won’t our morals seem quite obsolete in contrast to the ethics of the future?
YESSIRRIETHATSMEALRIGHT: I’m not sure I believe in the future. Continue reading

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rock paper sisters [archive]

it’s easier to mix things together than it is to unmix them.
it’s easier to mix things than to unmix them.


the mushroom was slinky


fishes are delicious


if you have one black and one white, you have one gray.
if you have two blacks and two whites, you have four greys.
if you have a hundred blacks and a hundred whites, you have ten thousand grays.
if you have infinite blacks and infinite whites, how many greys do you have?

r Continue reading

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from the notepad [archive]

behavior in la ronde is biological

think an, hod, humans stepping into theshadow,
theanimal, theabyss,
death Continue reading

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ENGL170D notes page one [archive]

is your life a silly-ass melodrama? say you’re the greatest filmmaker of all time. more thoughtful: statement on soul mates?

policeman/soldiers. authority/power

we are looking at each other, evaluating each other sexually all the time. “love does not exist in space at all. it exists in time.”

start as close to the end as possible. your job is to direct attention. “do you think sex is dirty?” “it is if you’re doing it right.”

pick 5 minutes and talk. Continue reading

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“I love you”

“you already are”

“Hahaha ronny are you drunk/high texting again?”

“You are nonsensical”

“Making love all day long, making love singing songs”

“Okay calm down trent reznor”

“Lets live on the moon with the gypsies”

“Couldn’t FUCkING agree MORE”

“Yeah? How can you do that?” Continue reading

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